I've been stressed out a little about work - wondering what to pursue, balancing the pros/cons of childcare and income. It makes the most sense right now to work when Nick does not, ie. Weekends and nights. That translates to waitressing. Which, I have been doing, but with much frustration. My employers are not very good managers and I do not know my schedule from Month to month until the very last minute of the beginning of each month, which makes planning family time difficult. Then, they keep scheduling me on weekdays before 5pm, which I cannot do. There is no protocol for asking for time off. When one does, they are not considered a team player. When interviewed, I said I wasn't available days, they hired me and told me I'd have to take 1 or 2 lunches a month, I agreed, reluctantly and this month I've been scheduled for 4-5 lunches! I am about ready to look for something else. I have said something, so I will only know when the schedule changes. Hmmm....nights and weekends - maybe I should be a nurse?
I am very disenchanted with my local Waldorf school. I am not sure I want to pursue teaching. I was asked if I would be interested in teaching grades 1, 2 & 3 Spanish which translates to 6 classes, 2 days a week, but, ultimately, they pay was not enough to support paying some one to care for my own child, so that ended that.
I finished reading "Misconception." A book that gave me words for feelings I went thru after my child was born and made me weep with recognition and dispair. I sometimes wonder if I could muster enough will power to become an activist for women and mothers to make a great change towards actualizing "family values." There is a huge rift between what politics claim as values and what kind of country we are, how little we value mothering and children. Evident in our healthcare, our parks, our employment benefits, or lack thereof when one stays home. I am very aware of the huge gap of time my paychecks do not contribute to 401K's, medicare & social security while I cobble together what little work I can get money for and how much work raising a responsible citizen is.
I miss painting & drawing designs. I love being in school best. Learning. Sigh.
Jasper got stung by a bee for the first time last week. We have swarms of bees, flies, and wasps of all sizes sucking down sap from our dying Elm tree. It phenomenal. One must have been walking in the grass and Jasper stepped on it. He was only momentarily bothered by it. He wouldn't tolerate ice on it and seemed to be comforted by knowing that a bee had stung him. No swelling of any kind, just a red sting mark on the arch of his foot.
He used the potty once - it was amazing - woke up wanting to take off his diaper and pee in his potty. We sat together in the bathroom and his entire nights water filled his little potty cup. We are all so proud. He wore his only pair of underpants the entire morning. By the time he had to pee again, he did so in his underwear and reluctantly put on a diaper, into which he promptly pooped. There has been no interest in sitting on the potty since.
Summers are wonderful. I feel much more at ease in my home during summer. I dread winter, mainly because of the cost of heat. This summer has gone by too quickly.
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