two months old...or 9 weeks and 2 days

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So, I went back to work today. I only work part time, so it's not really so dreadful. I actually liked it. It was surreal to have a solid block of time without Jasper. As I walked out the door at 8:40am, my mom was heading into the living room with the baby and a bottle. She had been holding him against her chest, face in and he was rooting. I told her to try holding him face out, he just ate forty minutes ago, maybe hold off on the bottle......I stopped myself, and finished with whatever, it will all be fine. And next thing I know I am driving down 9W thinking more about my baby, a non-stop stream of worries, ideas, etc for the entire 15 minutes and as soon as I walked into work, the thoughts disappeared and only returned once I got home and my mom and my son weren't there to reassure me! I called her cell and she didn't answer. PANIC! What ifs started going through my mind.....a few minutes later the phone rings. They are on their way home. I keep busy by washing bottles and putting the milk I pumped away. Fifteen minutes later, they pull up and I go outside to greet them. It's the longest I have been away from my baby since he was born. Already a lifetime ago.

The last three weeks, since we posted, have been interesting. Jasper is a fussy baby. We discovered that most of his fussiness was due to silent reflux. Fussy makes it sound less stressfull. By fussy, I mean he couldn't sleep more than 45 minutes at a time and he'd wake up crying, often arching his back and writhing in apparent pain. I cried right along with him. This culminated with 4 sleepless nights in a row, I read again the symptoms and definition of colic to discover something called silent reflux. I called my pediatrician and described everything. She suggested medication. That made me cry some more. Afterall, I went through childbirth drug free...shouldn't I be avoiding giving my baby drugs as an infant? And I had done just that...treated him with homeopathic remedies, gave up dairy and gas forming foods, drank fennel teas, took probiotics and gave him some too. These things helped his gas and digestion, but didn't eliminate the pain. I gave in and gave him the drug. The effect was undeniable. Jasper slept and so did I. I also gave up wheat and that has helped too. Oh how I love this little guy!

Now he's smiling a lot. He's started to really respond to us when we play with him. He 's totally taken with this little toy lion that hangs from his car seat. He actually reaches out to it and sometimes manages to make contact. We are so excited to hear his first laugh..it won't be long now!