Mama Mama

Over the last year, I've become close to another mama whose son is 5 weeks older than mine. Sadly, she is moving to Philadelphia. All of my close friends live in different cities, and I've not had the luxury of close friendships within 10 minutes of my home since I was in high school. In NYC, at least we were in the same city, but it still took at least 30 minutes to get to some one's apartment, if not longer.

We went out tonight, the two of us, without children or husbands. Something we've not often done this past year. It was extremely pleasant and fulfilling to have a continuous conversation about things other than our babies and to really relate to one another in a deeper way than we usually get a chance to. I feel distant from my feelings about her moving. It's just something I've experienced so often that I guess I get a little numb. What does comes up when I'm not thinking about it is, who will I spend time with now that she'll be gone? I feel so comfortable with her, that when we do get together with our boys, often one of us is a little spacey and it's ok, we get it. And why did we wait so long to go out alone in the first place? It seems our friendship happened so easily and her departure snuck up so quickly.

Of course, we both hurried home to our boys at 8pm, as we are the guardians of their sleep rituals. I don't know how her boy fared, but mine was sound asleep without nursing at 7pm tonight and it's 10:30pm while I am writing this, and so far, not a peep. Every night I wonder if this will be the night he sleeps through for the first time...and tonight I can't help wondering it again. At least maybe till midnight?? That would be the clinical definition of sleeping through the night!

Nick said that he was so sweet tonight, and kept pointing to the window, his lower lip pushed out, saying, "mama, mama." It was the first time he verbalized his missing me. Nick answered, "No mama, she'll be back later." 

I am not all that interested in becoming friends with other women solely because we are moms. And I have been fortunate to find friends in women who have children and share common interests. And while Philadelphia isn't that far away (neither is Baltimore, really, where my closest college friend lives with her babies) - it's sad that our friendship won't grow in the same pace as it would if that 10 minute distance was maintained. Not to mention the familiarity of our sons with each other.