Liz reported that Jasper was off and running without tears when Nick dropped him off, and the first time he invoked my name was when she changed his diaper. His second day he was a little sad, she said, and wanted to be held more. I didn't get a report on today.
As I drove to school on my first day, I thought about how long it took to get over that feeling of the end of summer and the anticipation of school and how on that day I felt a glimmer of it again, though my summer was not exactly a break.
My first day would have been completely uneventful had there not been one child, a boy, who was so anxious about his first day, he hid behind his mommy and would not join the class. I was at a loss as to how to help. It seemed time was the best remedy. That and his mother stayed by his side then outside the door when he finally joined the class and then in the kindergarden playground by the 3rd day. By then, he was fully participating and it was hard to believe he was the same child. He reminds me of a wild kitten who won't let you pick it up but comes to you for affection when you don't pay it any attention.
My only anxiety at present, is my lack of knowledge of games to play with children and then how to instigate them when I do know some. A large group of 2nd graders play outside against the wall and to me they are somewhat intimidating as a whole. It seems that hardly any of the girls are out there and I am uncertain as to how to engage them all in a game when the boys seem to be the majority and are so engaged already. Some parents and some staff members have already told me about how Mrs. Ocean, the previously permanent (and paid) first grade assistant would come early and play games with the children. The underlying implication is that I should too. Furthermore, the mother of the child who was so anxious, stays outside turning the jumprope. Today I overheard another parent or staff person say to her how happy they were that she was there, she didn't know who would be jumping rope with the children now that Mrs. Ocean wasn't there.
Mrs. Ocean took over the 4th grade class in the middle of last year when their regular teacher was fired. She is a lovely person and I spent many Saturdays "pumping" in her room during my teacher training classes. Every week she would have a new riddle on the board. Her blackboard pictures were beautiful and detailed. She seems like an excellent teacher. A lot to live up to.
In any event, I will attempt to learn some games and lead the children in them and get some ideas from Mrs. Ocean. So far I feel like a silent shadow herding the children who stray, and somewhat of an un-fun person. I think games in the morning will help gain their trust and playfulness while at the same time I know that I also need to get to know them and warm up to the newness of everything just as they are.
It's wonderful to leave there and arrive at Liz's where I now know all of the children and they greet me enthusiastically. The first child to greet me is my own son. His eyes light up in recognition and a slight smile curves his red lips when he sees me. "Mama, Mama" he says and comes towards me, raising his arms to be picked up and swiftly dives his small hand into my shirt, ready to nurse after 3 & 1/2 hours without me. I sit and nurse him in Liz's yard with all the children I've begun to get to know this summer playing around us. Some of the younger ones stay nearby talking to me while they watch Jasper nurse. "He's eating your booby," they say. Another says, "He's got the other one in his hand."
"Yes, he likes to do that," I answer. They notice everything. It's life. They keep playing. I've had a good week.
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