Preparing for Christmas 2009

As I sew or wrap Christmas presents, Jasper asks me, "What Mommy dooning" over and over again. Yes, that's how he says "doing: dooning." I answer over and over again, "sewing" or "wrapping presents." I wrapped his presents right in front of him and stuffed them into his stocking. It occurred to me that I could also just wrap up some things he already has and put those in his stocking - I really didn't need to get him anything at all. Truly. Then I wonder if I should write, "From Santa" on the stocking. Of course he can't read it, but we would say to him, "Look what Santa brought you."

I realize that as he gets older, I won't wrap his presents in front of him. And I think he will believe in Santa for awhile, once he realizes who he is. And while Nick has said that he didn't want Santa in Christmas before we even had a kid, I am not sure I agree, or even that he still thinks this way. I like the magic of Santa, just like the magic of fairies, gnomes and elves. I enjoy the imagination they conjure in the world of children. I like the idea of having the chance in life to remember what that felt like to be a child now that I have my child's childhood before me. Being able to enter this world as an adult led by the sincere wonder of my children is a gift. In my own childhood, I was amazed at the bounty Santa left behind. How I'd go to sleep, and time was meaningless, and just as suddenly as I closed my eyes, I'd open them again to find plump, bumpy overflowing stockings and a lot more presents under the tree. I don't recall any traumatic discovery of Santa's un-real-ness. It seems that a child's natural state shifts from one reality to the next reality where Santa is real to when Santa is not. And it's no big deal to find out that he's imaginary if it happens in the natural course of life. It just is.

I can't wait to witness this in my own child. I welcome the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus. They represent so much more than just getting more things.

Meanwhile, my Dad is visiting during the week before Christmas, which he doesn't celebrate. Technically, I shouldn't either - I am not Christian. Even so, we grew up celebrating it because we'd go to my Grandmother's in Nebraska almost every year. And my mom always decorated our house beautifully with lots of lights and greens. I love that part best: the lights, the tree, the beautifully wrapped presents arranged under the tree, the candles, the greens, red berries and pointsettas. So, my dad does celebrate Christmas a little, he often gives us Christmas gifts, as he did this year. He brought Jasper some hand carved wooden animals from Africa: a Zebra, a Lion and a Giraffe, as well as a bag of jasper stones. He gave these to him the night he arrived, and Jasper ignored them, in favor of showing Grandpa various things, like turning in a circle. "Look Vempa" he says repeatedly following him around the house.